Road

"More important than the roads I have been on, is the road I am currently travelling." - SDZ

2011 was supposed to be a year of growth but instead of that growth being spread out it is all been condensed to right now. I feel myself in the middle of the biggest spiritual growth spurt since 2007 when I started the original journey of Finding my Kansas.

The theme has really been centered on acceptance. Acceptance of who I am, of where I have come from, of mistakes I've made, and acceptance of the blessings, however different from my dreams, that exist in my everyday wonderful.

I used to put a lot more stock in the roads that got me here and now I realize what's more important is the road I'm currently on. What matters is who I am today, in this moment. Am I proud of the reflection? Am I happy in my moments alone? Do I see my legacy already alive in my children?

Life is awakening around me as I force myself out of what's comfortable and exchange it for something that feels right. I am stronger in my embrace of understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. I am free in my capacity for kindness, giving, and love.

In 2010 my mantra was *live with intention *love my man *kiss my kids *have faith in my God *find joy in my life * be true to myself . I reflect on these with satisfaction that I accomplished truly bringing these into my life each day, with commitment to live with purpose. In 2011 my mantra has been *perfection is subjective *control is limited *acceptance trumps understanding *enjoy patience *it's my garden *trust what feels right. I can see these lessons coming fast and furious. I'm closing the chapter on acceptance and entering my own garden.

I feel rejuvenated as I've begun setting fear aside, challenging myself to be controlled both in discomfort and adversity. I admit I am terrified, what a glorious feeling to be able to be alive and living my life well enough to experience not the terror but overcoming it through faith.