Wow, 2009 is finally over. Odd saying that since it seemed to have flown by me. It has been a year of growth for certain, a year of thanks and blessings, a year of sadness and confusion as well. It;s amazing how just 12 small months can really impact you so dramatically. I think about where I was this time last year. I had just moved out on my own for the first time ever. I was barely making the ends meet. I wasn't sure where life was headed. Dreams I had were buried, new lessons still needed to be learned. I was still that scared little girl who was unsure that life was ever going to be enjoyable beyond fleeting moments.
I look at how much I accomplished in the past year.
I finally learned that the Warden will never be satisfied, and will never let go of his anger.
I learned that breaking up is hard to do, but a necessity, after all if you won't stand up for you, who will.
I learned that things are gonna scare you but you will get a lot further on faith than you ever will on fear.
I learned that even when you think all your dreams and desires are lost, you can still be surprised.
I learned that words are easy, putting them into action harder...but more meaningful.
I learned that if you let yourself appreciate the world around you, life will be everything you hoped for.
I learned you can always change who you thought you were.
I learned the power of acceptance.
I learned that friendship is silly cliches, virtual hugs, a phone call from the tub, supporting the "impossible", keeping confidences and being able to share. It is also filled with love.
I learned that loving and being loved is the only way to navigate life.
To my friends...
Everyone is so very special to me, so many have stood behind me and supported me through loves lost and gained, through pain and remorse, through excitement and hope. You don't all always tell me what you think I want to hear, but you all love me, that is apparent. I have been so incredibly blessed with great friends. Here's to you all! And here is to those that made 2009 especially blessed.
Mike - Honey, you are more than just my boyfriend/partner and dream come true, you are my best friend. You are my first stop every time. When it's good, when it's bad, when I am happy and when I am sad, you are who I wish to share those moments first. I will always need other friends for varying reasons, but you are definitely my "first" friend. You have been so incredibly supportive and caring. You have felt every bit of sadness, or anger, or frustration or happiness or excitement that I have. I couldn't have imagined I would find friendship and love as deep as I have with one person. I couldn't have dreamed up our life together any better. Thank you for being such a complete blessing and surprise to me this year. I never would have guessed we would be here. Thank you for choosing to be with me everyday. Thank you for your understanding, forgiveness and faith. Thank you for trusting me and thank you for keeping me safe.
Roxanne - I can't say it enough, you are such a surprise. We became such good friends this year and honestly I don't even remember when we became "Friends" or ever the time I didn't have you there to laugh with me, to cry for me, to care for and support me. How lucky am I? You have been an amazing friend, understanding and supportive, encouraging and have offered me your share of hopes and wishes. Thank you for saying the things I want to say and can't. Thank you for have faith when I need it most and holding my hand until I found it again. Thank you for gagging at my statuses and for googling, "how to make your friends heart not hurt, 100 cliches" I need that. i needed you. Thank you for being there for me.
Keith - Every time since we became BFF's you have made my friends blog. Every time. Why? Because you truly are a great friend. You have been there for me, talking me through the saddest hours and teasing me through the happiest. You have shared your, "it's gonna be OK" , "It's not over til it's over", "Someone needs a beat down (and I am available)", and "You deserve only the best, and you are great" speeches, repeatedly (and some more than others)! Those are all the things I need to hear. I know you don't say them because you want something or need something from me, that is what makes them special. You tell me what I need to hear because I need it, and for no other reason. You forgive me for not answering your calls, for hanging up on you and for me turn around time (or lack thereof). You genuinely want me to be happy, what a blessing to have in a friend.
Ted - If it weren't for you I never would have realized how nice it is to climb a mountain in August, in Arizona. LOL You really pushed me beyond what I ever dreamed I was capable of. I miss working out with you so much, mainly because you made it so super fun. It was great laughing the whole time, and sharing the excitement of the results with someone who knew how hard I had worked. Although I haven't maintained the same level I did when we were working out, my passion and love for it hasn't changed. i never thought I would like working out outside, but you showed me how easy it was to workout when you were enjoying the world around you. The company helped to.
Princess - Boy have we had our share of leaning up on one another this year. I know that you understand me, you make it okay for me to say the things I don't want to say. I appreciate that. You have been there for the beginning of my dreams come true. You gave me a house to come home to, and made me part of the family. I love our friendship. I love that we are totally there for each other no matter what. Thank you for being my chosen sister. I'm so very lucky.
And finally as I move into 2010, I pray to God and All of Heaven to help me find strength to push on. Help me to reach my goals with success. Help me to have the dream I know I deserve. Please help me to never lose faith and never give up. Please stay by my side, carry me when I need to be carried, hold me when I need to be held, and whisper to me it's going to be okay when I feel the darkness close around me.
